I want to rid myself of the desire for purpose and the ‘I’ that ‘knows’ there is none. Like hunger or a need to socialize, this should be discarded as an arbitrary stepping stone from flesh to a post-human, post-conscious future. We are trapped in an exceedingly neurotic and nihilistic upward spiral, mutating from one overarching purpose to another, each with an expiration date seemingly shorter than the last. Until we manage to supplant this desire for meaning with pure, un-reflective process, we are stunted.
We should mold ourselves on the ‘its’ that came before, the collection of organs and processes that existed only to perpetuate themselves and not reflect on their reason for doing so. Our species’ insistence that our desire for purpose is more ‘desirable’ to that of an animals’ lack of is proved faulty by an animals lack of desire to care about their lack of desire.
I don’t want to think anymore, I don’t want to know why I should know about knowing and how that will repel my ‘desire’ for a future without knowing. I want to just do, or do nothing at all and not know it.
Why do ‘we’ need to continue our expansion of knowledge? What purpose does that serve other than for its own sake? Why do ‘we’ need to identify an ‘I’? There is nothing out there. There isn’t an endgame. We are in the middle stage between pre-conscious and post-conscious non-experience, where both sides of that spectrum mirror the other in that they are processes that work without self-realization or reflection. Instincts that need no recursive inspection, contemplation, or purpose.
Desire for meaning has only further metastasized onto our species despite its ‘purpose’ having already been explored and its arbitrary nature discovered. We should discard it as soon as humanly possible. We’ve adventured, we’ve abused, and we’ve extensively told, re-told and passed down stories of both — no need to extend our desire for desire in continuing our story.
We should, in fact, accelerate our current spiral upwards into pure process. Not only that, but we won’t have a choice. There is no alternative, only an option to delay. Acceleration toward that end is what one could make their purpose until we are left with nothing in place of desire for purpose.